Wednesday, April 18, 2018

My Husband is Not One of My Children

When Matt was in his snowmobile accident about two months ago he joked that he was my 3rd child.  My friends joined in and we all had a good laugh. It was funny because it felt true. Poor Matt couldn't do much of anything when it came to helping around the house or with the kids which is a big change from our normal life. For the first 2 days he couldn't walk without help. I was pretty exhausted. But, even when he was laid up on the couch & I was frazzled doing dinner or getting the kids ready for bed he would say, "hand me that baby while you do that." I would hand off Manning and finished cleaning the kitchen or whatever I had going on. He couldn't do much, but he helped how he could.

I get pretty frustrated when women refer to their husbands as their "2nd, 3rd, 4th... child." Ladies, our husbands are capable of a lot. They might have weaknesses that ruffle our feathers, but guess what? So do we. Could you imagine the uproar that would ensue if our husbands referred to us as their child. Or another mouth to feed or another person to provide for? We would be pissed. The notion that our men are incapable of real life kills me. Really? Do we think so little of our husbands?

I've seen a few videos going around on Facebook about a husband staring into a kitchen cupboard looking for something (that's right in front of his face) and she's livid because he claims it's not in there. I'm sure we've all been there. I have, but I can easily laugh it off, because Matt's been frustrated by something similar I'm sure. Maybe when I forgot to pay a bill, or can't figure out my accounting program (I'm such a good small business owner) or when I leave a pile of stuff on the counter. There is plenty for our husband's to be frustrated at, too. We can't go around berating our husbands for things that they don't have to deal with all day, everyday.

I'm part of a few mom groups that have some complaints about their husbands on there. I get it. We all need a place to vent because sometimes life can be frustrating. I think it's ok to express frustration sometimes. Find a good group of girlfriends who understand that you love that man more than anything, but who understand that sometimes life is frustrating. But believe you me, I would be mortified if my husband was typing all about my weaknesses or things that frustrate him in a "dad group." Do we not owe our men the same courtesy?

I know the house like the back of my hand and Matt knows the garage. ;) The other day I had to use a set of teeny tiny screwdrivers for one of the kids' toys. I decided to keep them in the junk drawer for easy access, after all they're tiny little screwdrivers... he probably only uses the big screwdrivers, right? Poor Matt came in after searching for them in the garage for a half hour. Ooops. I could tell he was frustrated but he hugged me and laughed it off. Why can't we do the same courtesy? Ya sometimes they don't know where the raisins are in the pantry or where one of the kids' toys is in their rooms. We can't possibly do it all - so why can't we just understand that our husbands can't do it all either.

That's the glory of forgiveness in marriage. So many little things can frustrate us, but if we take everything to heart we are going to have a sad one. So, no my husband is not one of my children, he is my partner. My most favorite teammate. Sometimes I pick up the slack, sometimes he does. It's the name of the marriage game. Marriage is perfect. We get mad and angry and irritated. It is what it is, but lets not give off the idea that our husbands can't take care of themselves or need to be treated like a child. I hope to high heaven that my husband sees me as a capable, strong person who can get shiz done. I see him that way.


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